This week didn’t turn out quite like I thought it would be. Last week was an emotional high since we are now officially adopting our precious foster daughter (if you missed it, you can read it here). I think I had expected that feeling of walking on cloud nine to continue… and it didn’t.
I’m late in posting this because I feel like I am still processing what has happened.
Friday was a profound day: my foster daughter had a court hearing to make some decisions for her case. I’ve always hated court dates because they are such a poignant reminder of how broken everything is. It’s heartbreaking that a situation could go so off the rails that it ends up being debated and decisions made by outside parties in a court of law. Nobody wins. Ever. It is simply about mitigating the damages.
I’m feeling the strangest mix of emotions as I’m absolutely elated and wretchedly heartbroken. My foster daughter’s biological mom had her parental rights terminated on Friday.
We are going to adopt her.
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Learning To Live
Five years ago this week I lost a friend. The word friend doesn’t seem to even adequately describe her because she was so much more. Emily changed my life.
I met her during a very dark period in my life since I was just diagnosed as being chronically ill and I was so bitter at the prospect of being in constant pain for the rest of my life. I was grieving since my plans were upended and life wasn’t going to be what I thought. We ended up in the same dorm at college and instantly, I thought she was one of the sweetest and brightest people I’d ever met.
And then I found out she had cystic fibrosis.
I love working in Photoshop; in fact, it is one of my favorite parts of my job. I get to take images and pull out the beauty from them, add text or graphics, and create. The way the program works though took me a while to get used to since it is very much unlike how I learned to create art by hand. The program uses layers to manipulate the images and that pull together at the end to create a finished product.
It’s eerily reminiscent of life in general. We don’t see all the layers of a person’s life at first glance, just the sum of everything. It’s even possible for us to turn off a layer so it isn’t immediately visible to those around us.
I adore my three-year old. Jackson is hilarious, loving, and preciously protective of his siblings. He is still three, though, and doesn’t like going to bed.
He really doesn’t like being put to bed for the eighth time (per evening, and all of these times in the course of writing this post) and spontaneously appears around the house several hours after bedtime has commenced. I’m considering making a suit of pajamas out of Velcro and constructing special Velcro sheets to match: he is officially a night person.
Have I ever mentioned that we have a two-story foyer? It’s not actually an important fact, but it has become a major facet of life around here. There is a small balcony over the entryway that the kids love the stand at and look down. I’m happy because the stairs are in the back of the house so the kids won’t fall down during this pastime, but they’ve come up with a way to make it just as nerve-wracking for me.
They don’t just stand there: they throw things down. On unsuspecting people.
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Lately, Biblical translations have come up frequently in conversations.
The reason I picked more recent translation the English Standard Version or ESV as my primarily translation is a lot more complicated than the readability or the ease of understanding the translation. These are important factors, of course, but even more important though is the quality of the translation. It is my favorite because it is the closest to the original Greek text. Let me explain:
I’ve had a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head lately for blog posts. Call it a by-product of taking time off, but even though my purpose was to get some extra rest, my mind was still running amok. In a lot of ways this is a really good thing since I need some sort of creative outlet. I think we all do.
Last night I told Brian that I had seen a list of things parents never thought they would have to say… until they had a boy. The list was funny, but most were pretty mild. I mean, “Why is there pee on the floor?” is amongst our weekly refrains which usually ends in all three boys pointing immediately at another brother.
I need to apologize for letting this site go dark for so long; what I had intended was to take off a few weeks leading up to Christmas so I could focus on healing from the car accident we were in back in October. What I didn’t count on was not healing…
So here I am in March much where I was back in December. I’m still exhausted, still bruised, and still in much more pain than I should be.
And I realized something: I’ve just been waiting.