Foster and Adoption

The situations are desperate.  In our county alone, there are over 500 children in care, with over 400,000 nationwide according to the Children’s Defense Fund.

These vulnerable children are everywhere and you might even know some without realizing it.  They are dependent on good people to step up and open up their homes and lives so that they can have a chance to break the cycles that led them into care.

We were a foster family.

There are many reasons why we did this, but it ultimately comes back to God: I know this is what He has for us.  It’s not a common thing to do whatsoever.  It is not easy and is, in fact, one of the hardest things that I have done. Even though we have stepped back from this for, the time being, we are still learning and growing in our challenges now as an adoptive family.

UG Ethan balancing

But, even in the midst of challenges, I have peace. My life isn’t about me.  My life belongs to God.  He calls us to serve Him by serving others.  Knowing the dire need, there was no way that we could sit back and do nothing.  Sure, it is so much easier not to; my life would be far more comfortable, but I couldn’t say no when God put it on my heart.  Saying no means missing out on His extraordinary plan.

If you are at all interested in this, God might be nudging you too.  That is how it started with me: quiet gentle nudges until I couldn’t deny it any longer, even when it didn’t make much sense.  This is a chance to literally change lives.

It is intimidating and this is why I write about foster care.  The media loves to broadcast all the horror stories (to be clear, I find it appalling that people would further abuse these vulnerable kids), but this is all the more reason to step up and do something about it.  Here are links to our good stories and resources:

It Takes a Village – We need to do something about the horror stories, not run away.

The Birth Parent Challenge – Dealing with judgment and having grace for birth parents

The Mess – We might be a foster family, but we don’t have it all together. No one does.

Permanent – When our daughter’s bio dad decided to make an adoption plan with us.

Just a Little Scared – Feeling fearful and doing foster care anyway.

Choosing to Stay – The time I wanted to run, but am so glad I didn’t.

Grafted In – How fostering has changed our family’s view of family hilariously.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place – The dark truth why CPS is so “ugly.”

“Real” Parents – Struggling with labels and family dynamics in the midst of adoption.

Happily Ever After – Adoption isn’t a real ending, even if we want “Happily Ever After.”

Adjusting to Being an Adoptive Parent – Transitions and the “new normal” after adoption.




5 thoughts on “Foster and Adoption

  1. I am thankful for you and yours being a Foster family. My husband and I were for many years. My heart goes out to those babies that need families. Keep loving them. They become as dear as those you gave birth to. God Bless!

    • Thank you, Kim. The truth is that it has been such a blessing to us and I’m so grateful for the opportunity we’ve had to do this. We honestly couldn’t do it without support and encouragement like yours 🙂

  2. This page this page this page……… I love the way this page is a kind of table of contents for this file or tag, with links !! Foster parents are my heroes, and I hope someday you will have time to visit my blog, and read a few writings where I tell some stories about “son of my heart,” who we tried to adopt………… stories of a long winding path, and wonderful wonderful love and grace! “The Big Picture Can Be Better,” and “The Back Story,” under Family Relationships label.

    • Thank you so much, Tammy! I’m so glad we’ve been able to connect! I love that you share your story too and I think it makes such a difference for other parents to foster and adopt since it breaks down walls and provides so much support just to know there are others who are doing the same things. Thanks for sharing your story!

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